The Periphery of the Mind

Step 1) get behind a guy swerving to the right, off the road, down interstate 71.
Step 2) pass him.
Step 3) watch him in your rearview, in the distance, as he starts swerving into the left lane.
Step 4) get into an ethical discussion with your significant other.
Step 5) pull over to side, and let him pass.
Step 6) call his license in to the Highway Patrol.
Step 7) watch as he starts driving somewhat better off at the Neosho Racine 68 exit.
Step 8) notice the passenger is starting to have a fit as they pull into a gas station.
Step 9) decide you need to find a cop.
Step 10) point at the cop who's just turned around and gotten behind you.
Step 11) when the cop tells your wife she was doing 63 in a 45, try not to laugh.
Step 12) ask him if he heard the call you put in to the highway patrol 3 minutes back.
Step 13) when the cop says he hasn't gotten the call, tell him about the crazy driver you called in and just left at the gas station.
Step 14) nod with understanding when the cop tells you to drive slower and gets back in his car and speeds off.
Step 15) drive a ways, then backtrack to see if the cop caught the guy.
Step 16) wonder where the driver and cop are when you don't see either at the gas station.

And that is how to get out of a speeding ticket in Missouri.